How Can I Stay Sober Even Though I Really Want to Drink?
There comes a point in most people’s drinking career when they realize that they genuinely do want to quit drinking. Up until this point they have basically been trying to figure out how to continue drinking as they like and somehow make everything work out. But at a certain point they realize that they would in fact be better off with complete abstinence and thus truly desire to be free from alcohol.
Now even when this point comes, the average alcoholic will still realize that there are several times throughout their day when they do, in fact, still want to drink. Even though they might have made a life changing decision to try and get help and stop drinking once and for all, they will notice that they still have a desire to drink at various times throughout the day.
This can be especially prevalent for younger people who may not have experienced as much pain and misery due to alcohol as others have. So the question becomes: “How can you stay sober even though you really want to drink? How can we overcome these cravings and stick to our recovery?”
The answer is: “Any way that you can.” Sometimes we have to claw, fight, and scrape our way to sobriety. Here are some ideas to help you fight off cravings:
Tactics for early recovery
1) Find a controlled environment - if you have the opportunity to go to a treatment center, by all means, take it. There you will gain peer support and be protected from the constant threat of relapse.
Of course any one of us can potentially walk out of the door and go buy some booze, so you might also consider the idea of long term treatment. Living in such a place adds another layer of accountability to your life. Not a magic bullet, but certainly helpful.
2) Focus on networking - peer support is huge in early recovery and that is why you hear so many push the idea of daily AA meetings. Most of us already proven to ourselves that we could not quit drinking alone, so consider “plugging yourself in” to the program so as to enjoy massive amounts of support from others.
3) Stay busy – by exploring new avenues of growth in your life. Examples would include 12 step meetings, going back to school, learning new skills, starting a daily exercise program, and so on. If you fill up your day with activities then you are less likely to focus on what you are not doing.
The long term solution: creative recovery
The above tactics might work great in early recovery, but are they going to carry us through to a lifetime of sobriety? Not necessarily. We have to grow, change, and progress as we stay sober if we are going to make it in the long run.
In early recovery the focus is on networking and learning. Particularly, you are learning how to live a sober life. This takes time and you might think that it requires an entire lifetime of relearning the basics of how to stay sober. This is not true. What needs to happen is that you must shift at some point from learning the basics and networking with others towards a push for holistic growth.
This is an important concept so let’s say that again: at some point, you need to progress in your recovery to where you start pushing yourself to grow holistically. This represents a shift away from the strong focus on networking in early recovery.
Why holistic growth? Because that is what will keep you sober in long term recovery. The real enemy in long term sobriety is complacency. Ask anyone who has relapsed after several years of sobriety and they will inevitably tell you: “I got complacent in my recovery.”
How can we avoid complacency? The key is in pushing ourselves to grow holistically. That means that we try to explore new areas of growth in our lives that might fall outside of the boundaries of traditional recovery.
Our alcohol addiction affected us physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, and emotionally. Therefore, we should treat our disease in each of those areas if we are to enjoy the benefits of long term sobriety. The way to treat each of those areas is through holistic growth.
Making the transition
How can we grow holistically? Start by looking for new growth opportunities in your life. Examples of this might include:
1) Committing to regular exercise.
2) Sponsoring newcomers in recovery.
3) Finding new and different ways to connect with others in recovery.
4) Going back to school to finish or start on a degree.
5) Learning a new skill or seeking a new job.
6) Exploring our spirituality.
And so on. Early recovery is about learning and networking, but lifelong sobriety is about persistent personal growth. If you want to learn how to fight off your cravings for good then you need to recognize the need for this transition and take steps to make it happen in your life. The tactics you use in early recovery will not serve you well at 5 or 10 years sober. You must grow beyond those solutions.
