Alcohol Addiction Guide

Photo by Orin Optiglot

Most people would think that it is fairly easy to spot the signs of alcohol addiction – just watch for someone who is drinking too much, right?

But the issue is more complicated than that, and we also have to differentiate between alcohol addiction and alcohol abuse. They are two different things and the procedures for treating them are completely different.

First, some definitions: “Alcohol abuse” versus “alcohol addiction” (alcoholism).

1) Alcohol abuse - is when someone is abusing alcohol, which could be daily or it could be every once in a while. Just because someone is abusing alcohol frequently does not necessarily make them an alcoholic. For example, many young people in college abuse alcohol fairly regularly but are not actually addicted to alcohol, nor do they become alcoholic.

2) Alcohol addiction – this is alcoholism (the terms can be used interchangeably). Alcoholism is a much bigger problem than alcohol abuse, though it can still be tricky to differentiate at times. Ultimately, the diagnosis for alcoholism must come from the individual in order for it to be meaningful, although there are still several symptoms of alcohol dependency that you should watch for. Alcoholism is characterized by:

* Craving for alcohol

* Withdrawal symptoms when not drinking

* Blackouts

And so on. Although it is still possible to get some of these things from alcohol abuse as well. So how to tell the difference? Alcohol addiction is a sustained pattern over time. With alcohol abuse, if you remove the drinking, the problem goes away.

With alcoholism, if you remove the drinking, the problems are just starting. The person will withdrawal and if they do not drink or start working any sort of program or make any life changes then they will become restless and irritable. This doesn’t happen with alcohol abuse.

Therefore, we can identify some of the signs of alcohol addiction as:

1) Physical dependency – the need to drink in order to function on a physical level.

2) Withdrawal symptoms – that occur when stopping drinking.

3) Obsession with drinking – the thoughts and mental energy spent thinking about drinking or being drunk when someone is sober.

4) Compulsive drinking - the inability to stop drinking once someone has started. The inability to have just one or two drinks.

However, do note that there are people with alcohol addiction who are definitely real alcoholics who never experience signs of physical dependency. It is not about how much we drank or how often we got drunk — it’s more about how alcohol made us feel and how we reacted to it when we did drink. Many alcoholics are binge drinkers and do not drink every single day, but they are still addicted to alcohol and they still have a deadly problem on their hands. Do not make the mistake of identifying such a person as merely an alcohol abuser.

Admitting to alcohol addiction

No one has an easy time of admitting that they are addicted to alcohol. It is a crushing defeat to the ego to have to admit that you are out of control and that your life has become dominated by an inanimate object. But that is precisely what the alcoholic must admit in order to start the healing process and thus seek help for their condition.

Before an alcoholic arrives at this admission of their disease, they will usually go through a period of denial. This is where they attempt to rationalize their drinking. They might say things like “If you had my problems, you would drink too.”

Denial is an amazing mental device and can operate even in the face of massive consequences. If someone is in jail from drunk driving and has lost their car, their job, and their spouse to their drinking, they might still cling to the belief that the world has just dealt them a bad hand and that their drinking is but a minor side issue–something that has not really affected the flow of these events. This is denial. The person chalks it up to bad luck rather than to see how their addiction has created this chaos in their life.

Breaking through this level of denial when talking with the alcoholic is generally impossible. Imagine an alcoholic who has several different friends and family members, all of whom talk to them separately and express concern for their drinking. Such an alcoholic will believe their own opinion over the opinions of 20 other people, thinking that the 20 other people are all misled and “out of their minds,” not seeing that the majority usually has a collective wisdom that allows them to see something objectively. This is denial in it’s purest form, when the alcoholic believes their own rationalizations in the face of massive opposition.

Accepting alcohol addiction

So what has to happen in order to finally break through the denial, is that the alcoholic must accept their disease on a very deep level. They must make that crushing admission to their innermost self that they are truly an alcoholic and cannot drink successfully. It is only after they have reached this state of surrender that they can become open to a solution. It is only after reaching this breaking point that they can become teachable on how to live without drinking.

Some people refer to this state of being as hitting bottom.

So how does someone reach this state of surrender? There seems to be no magic formula for inducing it, no sure way to convince an alcoholic that they have reached this point. What you can do is to follow a set of guidelines that will allow you to use the best behavior possible in relation to the alcoholic, so as to move them closer to making the decision to get help. Here are some of those suggestions:

1) Do not drink or party with the alcoholic.

2) Do not enable them to drink. Never give them money or go out of your way to help them if they are still drinking.

3) Do not rescue them if they get into trouble due to their drinking. Don’t bail them out of jail.

4) Allow them to experience the natural consequences of their actions. Do not “put pillows under them” when they fall.

5) Don’t deny them their pain. It is the only motivator for change in this case.

If you look these over you will notice that these guidelines are set up to allow for the alcoholic in question to experience all of the pain that they create in their life. You do not have to punish them or add to this pain, but do allow them to experience it.

Pain is the only motivator for change in this case. Why would an alcoholic decide to change if everything is going good in their life? They wouldn’t. So if you try to “help” them by lessening their pain in some way then you are actually hurting them, because you are preventing them from reaching that breaking point of complete surrender.

Remember they have to reach bottom. This is the turning point. If you prevent them from reaching it then you prevent them from making a change in their life.

So this is not really a method to induce change on their part (there is no reliable method for that), but only a set of guidelines to keep you out of the way so that they might naturally come to the decision to start healing. As such, you should watch out for these signs of alcohol addiction and stick to these guidelines when you see this potential problem in someone.